I can orgasm any time I want to, by myself and with no external stimulation. I don’t say that as a brag. I say that as a confession.
Because experiencing pleasure is still something of a taboo topic, even in the 21st century. Who has it, how we have it, and how much, in particular. Not enough, and we are somehow defunct in the sex department or not living up to our sexual prowess and potential. Too much, and we are selfish beings, banking off our special ability or willingness and eagerness to explore further ways to experience physical satisfaction.
But who is the judge and jury in all of this, and why is there any one of these stigmas still attached in regard to pleasure, especially in the era of many shades of gray? Shouldn’t we all want to experience the most life has to offer, especially within our own physical bodies? Who has made us feel that we are dirty for wanting or allowing this, that too much pleasure is somehow gluttonous and sinful?
Whatever your religious beliefs are, God gave us these bodies, vessels for joy and pleasure; thus it is my belief that a benevolent and loving God, Universe, and/or spirit would want us to explore this pursuit of joy even further, especially if it does not diminish any other person’s joy or pleasure.
Therefore, I come back to my original line: I can orgasm any time I want to. By myself. Without external stimulation. I have been silent about this gift all of my life, afraid of what people would say. Afraid I would be looked down on as a freak. Thus, I have not shared it. A tiny part of me has also been afraid it might be taken away, even more so, that I would share my experience, be tagged selfish, then fail at trying to teach others.
But the time for fear is gone. And the time for furthering pleasure for anyone and everyone is definitely here. So, I am now making it part of my mission to assist in helping others to potentially realize this skill, too.
You may have heard of the coregasm in the context of it being a happy accidental athletically stimulated orgasm, most often brought on by exercises using the core and pelvic floor. And yet I have yet to read about anyone actually able to bring these on intentionally.
I can.
Considering this peculiarity and void in the script, I have recently reached out to a scholar and authority on the subject to volunteer myself for studies involving intentional coregasms. In doing this, I did learn that I am not completely unique in this capacity. In learning this, my only guess is that others who can do this have also been petrified like me, both by an odd mixture of shame and embarrassment, perplexity, and shyness thinking that there is no way I could re-teach this thing since it is all conducted internally.
Well, I am going to try. Because it is great.
Since my younger years, in a mixture of three primary positions, I have been able to induce orgasms at will. This ability has paired nicely with two marriages that didn’t end up working out. And yet even during my dry spells, the complexity of this ability in its mental link manifested in negative ways; I refrained from orgasming for long stretches because it hit an emotional chord. I also had rounds of feeling unworthy of pleasure, reinforced by my experiences with men and deep-seated issues and traumas from my past.
Which brings me to the greater point: We are all worthy of love, of pleasure, and joy, especially of and in our own bodies. It is ridiculous that society has somehow conditioned us to believe that we have to be “good” or worthy in order to receive or allow such pleasure. It is even more ridiculous that certain religious and cultural conditioning shave made us feel or believe that pleasure in our own bodies is somehow bad or naughty. There are behaviors these potential pleasures can lead us to that are unacceptable, such as infidelity, violence, or emotional carelessness. But those behaviors are due to the choices made surrounding the potential for pleasure, not the pleasure itself.
Pleasure is a good thing. Bodily pleasure is an amazing thing, and, as humans, this pleasure is our birthright. We were given our bodies with all their prismatic, beautiful abilities. Self-pleasure is one of these gifts, the ability to enjoy ourselves independent of one another, potentially made more beautiful when sharing with another, but not necessary. I was given the ability to do so internally, without even a sexual thought or any external stimulation. It is seemingly more clinical or athletically-based, which is why I bring it up now. If I can help anyone – even if just one person – experience more joy and pleasure in their life through this method, alleviating other stressors, I have served one of my many purposes.
As a growth and mindset coach, I facilitate perception and re-perception as a means for moving forward in monumental ways, business-wise and life-wise. In this physical facet, I ask you to re-perceive your body as a personal avenue in the direction of joy. Part of this largely entails us opening up a big door to allowing, admitting and believing we deserve this kind of pleasure and satisfaction.
Why would we not? “We should serve others. We should “be good.” We don’t deserve it.” That is what the argument comes down to. The base: we feel we don’t deserve it. But we ALL do, just for being beautiful humans.
My take is that the more pleasure and joy we can bring in our own lives, the more we will want to bring to others. Hence my embarrassment now that it has taken me this long to try to spread the wealth in this capacity. Have I been withholding because I want to hoard the pleasurable skill? I’ve thought on that, and have decided there has been maybe a bit of me that has feared it could be taken away if I shared my “darkest” secret.
But the overwhelming side of me has withheld out of shame and fear of a different kind; of embarrassment and feeling ridiculous, too gifted, and that maybe no one would be able to do as I do. I, then, would invariably be made a fraud, a freakshow, and then tarred and feathered for having the gift while others do not. Isn’t that the way our society works? Beat down those who have what you do not?
But by withholding and remaining silent, I will help no one. Not even myself, because I withhold when I myself do not feel worthy or do not want to tap into my emotional hopes and scars. So, now, by voicing this revelation and trying to teach this ability, I am opening a HUGE can of worms, for both myself and for the world. In teaching this skill, I will most definitely be performing it more, thus I will be opening myself to more pleasure right alongside you. But that is good, because allowing is where it all begins. And I am learning to allow, just like you.